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HumorWorking from home day after day and night after night on a borrowed laptop is no fun. Especially when it is borrowed back off you. So, for that reason, I feel the time has come for a laptop of my own. Or do I want a desktop? A PC or Apple Mac? Or maybe one of those little palm-held jobs would look the part; after all, it would fit neatly in my handbag.After much consideration and deliberation, I go full circle and end up back at the laptop. But where do I start? What are my requirements?...
Why do many people look to movie stars for answers to some of life's most challenging questions?
While we have great respect for the art of acting, as explicated from Stanislavsky to Strasberg, the latter of whom we knew well and were fond of, we have never understood how the usual snippets who decide to become actors ascend in the minds of the public from being initially generally regarded as likely ne'er-do-wells to being considered the most readily available font of insightful advice...
While America is experiencing a gasoline shortage, the nation's dependence on foreign oil is about to end.
A researcher at The Department of Energy, from which breakthrough ideas emanate on a regular basis, noticed that Americans, along with most people who ever lived, have a virtually unlimited and renewable supply of B. S. He wondered if it might be turned into fuel.
The hypothesis proved so promising that his work produced a marvelous result in as short a time as it took to record...
Wow! After only two classes, I can play games on the computer. Soon I won't ever have to leave home again. I'm going to learn to bank, order groceries, get health information, and send correspondence via the Internet. It's a whole new way of traveling. No more paved highways for me, only information highways. No more buying gasoline. All I have to do is pay my electric bill and phone bill. The home shopping channel is lucky I even turn it on anymore. I don't need any new clothes...
You go right ahead! Laugh and cackle to the point of losing your breath! Laughter has enormous amounts of health benefits ranging from affecting diabetes to lowering risks of heart attacks and everything in between!In this modern world that we live in, full of medicinal remedies and medical breakthroughs, who would ever dream that something as simple as laughter could induce such amazing benefits to your health that could rival highly scientific compounds found in drugs of today?The idea...
During the course of his celebrated career, Rush Limbaugh invented the term "adult beverages" to refer to alcoholic drinks so as not to offend mothers with young children listening to the show. But no insight was given on where to find the best dittohead adult beverages. That's why I created The Dittohead's Guide to Adult Beverages, a political humor book fans of the show will love.
Just try out these great recipes:
ENVIRONMENTALIST WACKO WHISKEY
Glass: Your Own Cupped Hands
Ingredients:
1...
Operator: Thank you for calling this pizza joint. May I have your...Customer: Hello, can I order..Operator: Can I have your multi-purpose card number first, sir?Customer: It's eh..., hold.......... on......889861356102049998-45-54610.Operator: OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from Bur Dubai. Your house number is xxx, your office number is yyy and your mobile is zzz. Which number are you calling from now, sir?Customer: Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?Operator: We are...
When I was a teenager, we used to take our annual holidays in Italy and my mum insisted my father drive non-stop through France rather than risk another horrifying encounter with a French pissoir. I don't know if you have ever tried to hold your bladder in for four hours in a car travelling at speeds in excess of 120 miles an hour, but it may explain why my mother had the thigh muscles of an Olympic athlete. Those of you who have never been to France may think my mother was a bit picky,...
Have you ever noticed how family members always misbehave at the most inappropriate moments? Well, let me tell you, it's not just the little ones that spout off with remarks that make you want to don a cloak of invisibility.My son was just having one of those days. You know those days - when everything goes wrong and you just wish you would've stayed in bed. We all have those days. Some of us have them more often than others.He knew what kind of day it was going to be once he spilled his...
I've always been a skeptic when it comes to technology,
especially computers and the Information Age. I used to think it
was crazy how people would put their total faith into a machine,
some even more so than in their faith in humanity. Human beings
are flawed, imperfect creatures. I say this in a positive way
because if humanity were completely positive and perfect we
would have nothing to learn, and life would lose its vitality
and mystery. Computers come from the same universal reality...
I hope Hollywood decides to make no more horror movies based on
Japanese ones. They're really boring and not the least bit
scarey. Right now I'm thinking of 'The Ring' and the 'The
Grudge' and I've seen ads for 'Black Water' which I absolutely
will not see or rent in the future because I learned my lesson
from those first two. Both of them I fell asleep watching. The
Ring, I know, got some good reviews and it was really beautiful
to look at but I didn't like the characters and I didn't
understand...
I felt queasy contemplating the nerve conduction test and
electromyelogram (EMG) I was about to have. The nerve conduction
test involves taping electrodes to the skin and sending a small
jolt of electric current to them. During the EMG, the doctor
inserts tiny needles into various muscles and examines the
signals displayed on a laptop screen to see how quickly they
respond to stimulation. These tests help to determine if there's
any nerve impairment or damage. Now, I'm in no position to
belittle...
Avoid Cliches and you miss the joke!
"Avoid cliches" - that's what would-be writers are always being
warned. But in comedy writing,CLICHES offer a rich source of
humor. In fact many cliches can be easily and directly used as
cartoon captions. As you know a cliche is an overused expression
that has lost its freshness and becomes predictable. These
expressions are so commonplace, people can relate to and
understand them easily. Another reason why cliches are popularly
used in humor is because...